My Dear Boyfriend

Disclaimer: You know that moment when you're not feeling yourself and all the emotions that you have ever experienced decide to come together and flood you over until all you can manage are dishevelled dramatic words formed from thoughts that shoot further than cum after a week long's abstinence? Yes this is that moment. Contrary to popular belief, we are actually happy together. Hehe

Hello, this is me at 6.59am in the morning. That nap between my assignments before cut my sleep short, and I have hence been awake since 2. I am dying to fall asleep for my 2pm tute. But I want to write this all down before I feel differently.

You've spent the last 3 nights with me. And as I lay awake on my bed, snuggled under the covers, fan blowing towards me, Bree desperately trying to save her marriage (rewatching the first season, I am) on the flat-screen, it hit me. 

I wanna be with you. I want to be with you until circumstances tear us apart. This is the realization that I need you. This is the epiphany that my life could be so content and meaningful yet so empty without you.

This is me saying I love you at 7.05am in the morning.

Or maybe this is me on a sleep deprived high that fades after some z-s.

Yeah, this is probably that. But would it make it different if I feel that way every single time I'm on a sleep deprived high at a time when the sun has half risen?

I still wanna fuck all the boys. As do you. It's so scary how long we've lasted. It's so scary to imagine forever with you, but it's even worse to picture a world without you and me.

Or maybe you don't wanna fuck all the boys. Maybe I'm enough. Really? Am I really enough?