Sunday, May 6, 2012

My Dear Boyfriend

Disclaimer: You know that moment when you're not feeling yourself and all the emotions that you have ever experienced decide to come together and flood you over until all you can manage are dishevelled dramatic words formed from thoughts that shoot further than cum after a week long's abstinence? Yes this is that moment. Contrary to popular belief, we are actually happy together. Hehe

Hello, this is me at 6.59am in the morning. That nap between my assignments before cut my sleep short, and I have hence been awake since 2. I am dying to fall asleep for my 2pm tute. But I want to write this all down before I feel differently.

You've spent the last 3 nights with me. And as I lay awake on my bed, snuggled under the covers, fan blowing towards me, Bree desperately trying to save her marriage (rewatching the first season, I am) on the flat-screen, it hit me. 

I wanna be with you. I want to be with you until circumstances tear us apart. This is the realization that I need you. This is the epiphany that my life could be so content and meaningful yet so empty without you.

This is me saying I love you at 7.05am in the morning.

Or maybe this is me on a sleep deprived high that fades after some z-s.

Yeah, this is probably that. But would it make it different if I feel that way every single time I'm on a sleep deprived high at a time when the sun has half risen?

I still wanna fuck all the boys. As do you. It's so scary how long we've lasted. It's so scary to imagine forever with you, but it's even worse to picture a world without you and me.

Or maybe you don't wanna fuck all the boys. Maybe I'm enough. Really? Am I really enough?





15 comments:

Shadow Wind said...

Ah Bless. This is such a sweet post! a silent confession of love! well written! I'm sure your bf would be felt so blessed to have you ^^

problems happen in every relationship bro, it's perfectly fine!

soul232 said...

A passing thought doesnt occur without any catalyst...it's a manifestation of what we want subconsciously =D

Leo Nut said...

Yor.. sweet dao.. And Bitch!! A FAN?? Freaking cold now and you use a fan?? Cold die me!! ><

ooi2009 said...

thanks for the heartfelt post dedicated to me , but im seeing someone else

tuls said...

its 4 degrees here and i still use a fan ok! like the malaysia one standing one ok! lol.. haha..

btw k arr... *big big hug for you*

Kayson said...

@Shadow wind
10 months liao!! scary neh!!! >.<
But thank u!!!

@Soul
I guess. But sometimes hor... idk la i wanna fuck all the boys!!!!! XD esp the hot ones with abs and nice chest.. yumz

@Leo
If not the air in d room damn stil la! It feels like im in an aircon room back in Msia! Shiok neh!!

@Ooi
:( y u cheating on me!!!

@tuls
Temperature unrelated to fan lor!! Need to get the air moving and have some silent *brrrrrrm* in the background.

*hugs back*

soul232 said...

that is freaking normal la..if u dont, how could u call urself gay...muahahahah =P

Leo Nut said...

@Kayson and @Tuls.. I cannot lo.. too cold can die.. I still not used to the cold yet.. ><

Kayson said...

@SOul
Post pic leh. I can start wif u. Hehe

@Leo
Feels like aircon room only lor. Msia u dont use aircon meh? My room is inside la, so quite warm still. ehe.

Funny how everyone seems to find this damn sweet. Coz personally it wasn't intended. I guess the most genuine form of sweetness shines through when you don't try. >.<

soul232 said...

hahahaha...cannot le...me not fulfill ur criteria of abs and nice chest =P muahahaha..the type u want, go gym sure can find la..haha

tuls said...

:) nope.. no air con for me..

Kayson said...

@Soul
Nvm. Got brain bo? Come interview. hehe

@Tuls
>.< good lor, ur skin sure less dry than mine

Bree Anna said...

OMG :')*sending all my love to you

Also, I panicked for a moment when I read this thinking 'since when was I married' >:O nyahahah

Kayson said...

<3 hehe. Desperate housewives la babe!!!!

S.C-Y said...

Don't worry, he loves you too.

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