Wednesday, November 7, 2012


I'm not going to deny that I enjoy the attention I get whenever someone shows an interest. Neither would I deny that I enjoy the chase, the coy interactions two people share when in that stage. But I always make things clear, and state explicitly when something would never happen.

Rejections are never easy, both to give and take. Nobody likes the tedious task of saying no, or the wrenching acceptance of dejection, and maybe that's why so many people choose to just ignore the other party until they get a clue and let whatever's happened slowly fade away. But I'm not that kind of person, and I make it a point to say things clearly. I think of it as a courtesy, as basic human manners. When someone dares to bare their inner feelings, when they take that chance, it's one thing to crush it straight upfront, but it's another thing to just let it be crushed slowly and without respect.

But that's my ultimate problem isn't it?

When I make it clear that it isn't happening - I'm a bitch. I think I'm too good for you. Never mind that I've never said anything of that sort, or even behaved in a way that implies it - let's just assume it. Let's just assume that when someone doesn't want to be with you, it is because the other person thinks he's better than you, that he can do better. There isn't any other reason. Who cares about compatibility, right?

When I pretend to be oblivious - I'm also a bitch. Cause I'm obviously too smart to not know, and I should have said something. No, not subtly implying that it wouldn't happen, of course not, say it outright. To my face. Preferably without any of your friends and just mine that I insisted be there, so I can have them help twist the obviously fake apology into something worthy of an Adele song. Yes, you should be the next star of my dramatic life.

And then there are those that take my... attempts at being a nice person as something more. If it's something more you will know it's something more. If it's not, it's not. Stop trying to contort my friendliness into some flirtatious slutty shit. I'm bubbly, like the champagne your father probably drank that made him forget to put a condom on when he conceived you. What a waste of desperate sperm.

Almost 3 years now. You still at it? I could go on. But guess what?

I AM better than you.