Tuesday, December 11, 2012

12/12/12

It's been about three months now. I'm not very sure, I don't really keep track and I find myself avoiding retrospection involving that. The pain has dulled itself out, like how all forest fires eventually burn themselves out, leaving behind only heavy smoke that weighs one down. 

We're still talking, and most of the time it's almost like we're still together, and sometimes I worry if that's healthy, being so close despite no longer being together. But then again I can't resist talking to him, replying him, or settling back into familiar sweet ways. 

I've been going around, hanging out with friends, meeting people, old and new, partying, gymming, sleeping late, playing mahjong etc etc in KL - basically just really bumming around before I head back for summer school. Life's good, though I wish I had better sleeping habits. But my mind often wanders into thoughts of you when I lay down at night. Been taking more sleeping... supplements than I would like myself to have. Gotta stop that.

Sent him a text on Whatsapp celebrating the insignificant 12/12/12 date. I really wanted to say more but what's the point. 

I miss you

8 comments:

Shadow Wind said...

Nice piece of writing carrying with it such unspoken pain and struggling. I love it. especially the last sentence.

I understand how it feels, it's like you're hanging onto someone who might not even think of you the way you think of him anymore, and all the time, u keep telling yourself oh how I want the old him back but to be real it's not happening and to tell yourself to just forget but to be even more realistic you know you still can't move on.

haha another good blog down my list

sigh.

Bi-Pride said...

I believe he still loves you quite a lot you know. If what you had over the last year was real, and I believe it was you'll end up together again distance be damned.

Kayson said...

@Shadow

Hehe thanks for ur praises again!

And no, I know he still loves me, maybe even more than I love him but whats the point if we aint gonna be in the same country for the next 5 years?

@Bi-pride
^ see above paragraph >_<

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Shadow Wind said...

oh that's even sadder = ( love across the sea, FTW, if you're confident enough!

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