Alone

Haven't been here as I've been dumping all my shit on my public blog. I think most people have forgotten about it after shutting it down for so long, making it once again a safe place to blog in. Those who still frequent it after almost 5 months of closure totally deserve to read my innermost bullshit anyway.

In many ways I've been avoiding this blog, preferring to play Mahjong over actual writing. I haven't wrote in so long, and it feels wrong. One of the best feelings in this lifetime for me is the idea that you can have a laptop (no pen and paper please, actual writing is so fucking tedious and ugly, have you seen my high school essays?), open an empty word document and create a world from scratch ala-Harry-Potter (or Twilight even, seriously).

But the other day I turned it on and sat in front of a blank page and felt nothing. I was numb. One of life's greatest gifts to me - gone.

.. And I'm still not talking about it. Has it already been two months? Why does it still feel so raw