Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Goodbye, Again

**X or The-One-Who-Got-Away will henceforth be known as J. X is too cliche and ultimately, he didn't get away after all. 

So anyway was back in KL the last 2 weeks. It was the usual clubbing clubbing clubbing, of endless alcohol and the usual druken emotional outrage. Surprisingly, the outrage came from J this time. It's usually me.

I've always known that in the end I will always be somewhat important to him, like how he is to me. It's the vague, what-was, what-could-have been-but-unfortunately-we-went-on-to-fuck-other-people-instead kind of love. It was so amazing when it happened, sparks flew, I was 15 all over again and he was that fairytale that I long gave up on - but we were going separate ways. I was willing to try, but he wasn't, and somehow that translated into me being the clingy one and him being the strong one who cares just a little less. He said he didn't want to ruin the first time, to ruin the honeymoon period being continents apart. We would continue to drag this one for a long time, and about a year into it he told me he loved me.

But even that was more than a year and a half ago.

So I guess it was good to hear that again, after so long. To just receive a light kiss and a brief hug as additional assurance of sincerity.

Yesterday he boarded for London.

Soon I will be back in Melbourne.

And like before, we will be worlds apart.

Goodbye, again.


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