Hurt

Jaze is someone I'd remember since forever. When I was hitting 15, he chased me, to no end. He asked for my number, and I did give it to him, despite him being slightly chubbier then ideal. Because well, I remember talking to him, and falling for one quality that I would not realize matter until a year and a half later - depth.

He never called, and I was to meet him almost two years later, when he lost weight and became quite the hottie in my eyes (though friends still say he CannotMakeIt). He was no longer interested in me, and moved on with life.

A year ago, out of my desperate pullings we had a short fling type of thing, the kind you have when you're stuck together for a round at the club, and I stayed stuck for quite a while. I learnt that he thought I wasn't taking him seriously, when I was trying to play hard to get.

Today, he is dating someone named Melv. I am ever jealous.

* * *

Aerick is someone I dated an entire year back. He was one of those steady type, muscular, masculine with no self-esteem issues(which can be such a turn off!). He asked me out for dates, and was direct in his sexual insinuations('I'd give you a big wet kiss and fit my tongue like a finger down your..etc).

We went for quite a few dates, mostly at Pavillion. Pavillion was once place I'd act as gay as I could, cause no one would recognize me there anyway. It wasn't a place I frequented, and I daresay most the time I went there was with him.

He'd never allow me pay for anything. I resisted, of course, and I wasn't pretending. Because I knew it wouldn't matter, he would somehow pay for everything anyway. And as superficial as it sounds, I liked him because of that.

I was the monkey and he was the cow. And somehow, that made a good combination.

But he told me, when I was ready, that he wasn't. And two months later, I found him becoming Tarzan for another monkey.

* * *

Refer to the previous emo posts, most specifically this.

I hardly ever bothered you. I put so much effort to just let you live life without the interference of me. You told me to let you know if I was going to MP. I let you know, and before I could even ask for a lift, since you were going Zouk anyway, you just burst at me.

Why. Have I become such a bother.

* * *

My dear ex, weren't we happy. Weren't we perfect. Why did you care what they said so.

Show me the way, show me show me how;

Help me be brave, for love.